COUNTING MY BLESSINGS
I'VE MISSED THIS
Every Sunday, like today, I find myself sat at my table drinking coffee and taking all the time in the world to think about life. This is the time where I get to reflect on everything. If you've read any of my previous Sundays post, especially those from Grimball by Darianne, then you know how much I love Sundays. It's the day where I use this space as a diary. I haven't had the chance to be open about everything in awhile. Well, school is out now and I've missed this. Here goes:
I like to tell myself that things happen for a reason. I also like to think that if it's meant to be it will be. Sometimes I complain. Sometimes I get upset when life doesn't go my way. Sometimes I'm dramatic and stubbing my toes feel like the beginning of the end. I can remember a few years ago when I was battling depression. It felt like the world was over and I didn't think I could survive it, but I did. The sun kept shining and I kept pushing forward to be bigger and better than ever. I had hope. I still have hope.
When I revisit those memories, I think about how good life is now. I think about how I held on just a bit longer every time I thought I couldn't. I kept the fight in me going. I kept my faith. I recently wrote about having a positive mindset. Having a positive mindset doesn't mean that negative thoughts don't surface. It doesn't mean everything is all rainbows and sunshine. It means taking the good, the bad, and the ugly for what it is and deciding to focus on the good. I'm not positive one hundred percent of the time, but I try my hardest to see the light. I always try to find a new way to look at things. Sundays and morning coffee, in general, are moments I live for. They're so peaceful. They keep me humble and I'm always so truly thankful.
Do you know the feeling when the sun's rays are beaming and you close your eyes as the heat engulfs your body with its love? It's moments that small that remind me how wonderful life can truly be. It reminds me that I am alive, I am here, and I, just like you, have a purpose. I'm making a difference no matter how big or small. It also reminds me of fields of grass and how freeing it is to run in a meadow of sunflowers or dancing like no one is watching. I know I sound like a tree-hugger. That's because I am.
If you are dealing with mental health issues, keep holding on. It gets better. Never give up. I know sometimes it doesn't feel like it, but the world needs you here. You matter. You will always matter. x
COUNTING MY BLESSINGS
I'm thankful for everything that I have and all that I am. I'm not just talking material things or the fact that I heart my I's. My sister just had a beautiful baby girl almost two weeks ago. She's healthy and happy. She fits in one arm. She's my only niece and I just can't wait to go shopping with her. Until then I am having the most fun shopping for her. She's a princess. I'm going to spoil her. What else are aunts for?
Everyday that the sun rises and sets, every moment I get to take another breath, and every second I get to enjoy this natural high that I call life turns into another moment where I rememeber wishes do come true. The inspiration keeps coming. It's like I'm living in Florence during the Renaissance. I'm no Botticelli. I'll never be able to paint the Birth of Venus, but I can and I will paint the canvas that is my life. One sunflower at a time. One moment at a time. One day at a time. I got this. YOU GOT THIS.